Monday, April 6, 2009

overcoming the Odds/Aloneness part 3

The odds were against me to graudate highschool.

the odds were against me to make it on my own in miami.

the odds were against me in every step of my life. And i have overcome.

Now the odds are once again stacked against me. And with my usual determination, grit and faith i will overcome them, bitching and complianing the entire way.

In other news im beigining to learn more about this aloneness thing.

Ive found a strange sense of..... aloofness i guess is the word... to some of my relationships recently. Its almost as if im looking on the outside of them and can kind of analyze everything and see whats going on. These days, thats a strange skill to have.

Thats part of why im feeling alone these days, since i can analyze everything i dont really feel close to anyone. I dont know if its a good or bad thing, ill have to get back to you on that, but as i said in the last entry on this subject, ill continue to scream in the crowded room realizing i put earplugs in all my friends.

I am not sure how to fix it... but one day maybe i will.

As Captian Kirk once said, i like to think that there are always possibilities.

there are always possibilities i can repair whatever damage i may have caused. that i may be able to figure out how/why i do what i do.

there are always possibilities to begin to realize why i feel the need to over compartmentalize my life.

perhaps one day ill find the reason for it all... but right now...

the sound of the echo helps me sleep....

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